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Johnny asks grandpa: "Do you still have sex with granny?"

Grandpa says: "Yes, but only oral."

Johnny asks: "What is oral?"

Grandpa says: "I say fuck you, she says fuck you, too."

67     → Joke


How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?

One of his fingers is clean.

43     → Joke


A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten Bitch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

65     → Joke


Three girls are at work, and their female boss is leaving early for the day. The brunette also suggests to leave early as there boss will not notice. So that afternoon, they all leave early.

One spends time with her son and enjoys her time off.

The redhead does her gardening and has an early night.

The blonde goes home and hears sounds in her bedroom, she walks upstairs quietly open her bedroom door and finds her boss in bed with her hubby, shuts the door and leaves the house.

On next day, the brunette goes on asking: "Shall we leave early again today?" The blonde says: "No way I nearly got caught!

28     → Joke


How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

46     → Joke



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