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Sex jokes

284 jokes about sex



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What have clouds and men got in common?

When they finally fuck off, it’s a very nice day!

39     → Joke


The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.

55     → Joke


The 5 worst things about being a penis is ...

1. You have a hole in your head.
2. Your best friend is a cunt.
3. Your next door neighbors are 2 nuts and an asshole.
4. Every time you get excited you throw up.
5. You always are wearing a collar.

67     → Joke


How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?

One of his fingers is clean.

47     → Joke


A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life.

"Well ..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."

"My goodness Frank, and at your age too." the doctor said. "I hope you took at least some precautions."

"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave them all a phony name."

41     → Joke



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