86 jokes about seconds
17 worm jokesProposal
were placed into four separate jars
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day: The first worm - dead. Second worm - dead. Third worm - dead. Fourth worm - alive.
Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex
, you won't get worms!
Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt!9 Short jokes
If you do not mind me saying, said the second: "That cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"
"I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my butt."
"I do not understand," said the other.
The first Arab says: "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out."
He said: "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."
I said: "No shit?"
4 bar jokes
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar
and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland
," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins
are drunk again."
9 baseball jokesProposal
Where is the first baseball
game in the Bible
In the big inning, Eve
stole first, Adam
stole second. Cain struck out Abel
, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
A lady is throwing a party where each guest shows up as their favorite emotion. A guest arrives dressed in green. "Envy!" she says, and lets him in.4 Short jokesNext page Jokessecond sayings
A lady comes dressed in red. She says: "Anger!" and lets her in.
Two naked guys walk up to the front door. One guy is holding a bowl of pudding with his penis stuck in it, and the other guy has his penis in a hollowed-out pear.
"Wait a minute," she says to them. "This is supposed to be an emotion party!"
The first guy says: "Yeah, and I'm fucking dis-custard."
The second guy says: "And I'm deep in dis-pear."