Satan jokes

3 jokes about satan


They say when you play that Microsoft CD backward you can hear satanic messages ... but that's nothing. If you play it forward it will install Windows.

14     → Joke

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer. You are in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way." I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"

37     → Joke


Bill Gates threw dollars before Jesus, screaming to God, get out of my chair! Loud thunder sound emerged and Satan approached Bill Gates. Come Bill, you don't want to do with these f*ckers. So Bill Gates asked himself, well lets show me hell mr Satan. Occuring later Satan showed Bill Gates a few places. You need a living quarters for sure mr Gates. Come I show you. Satan showed the first room. A man was hanging on a cross and was constantly being whipped and was in deep agony. Bill said, I have a bad feeling about this. You can't go back to heaven explained the Devil, you bibed Jesus and wanted to take God's place, they are angry. Show me something better. The second room in hell had Windows computers and Bill Gates was impressed, 'This is like it Satan!' Bill was cheering up. Bill went in and the Windows computers showed an eternal blue screen and Bill discovered there were no Control Alt Delete. Satan replied, let me show you the best room. Every time an innocent by accident enters hell and picks this room an innocent is allowed to go back to heaven. Gates couldn't believe his eyes, a beautiful woman with a beautiful a*s as being taken by a big shaped man. The big shaped man his cock did seem to never stop and the man was smiling towards Bill and told while continuing f*cking it's the best room in Hell the Devil has. Bill Gates told, I want this room Satan, f*cking seems fine with me! Are you really sure Bill? Since all they see is a*s and legs spoke Satan to Bill. Yeah replied Bill. Bill entered the room, suddenly the beautiful woman disappeared. The man was smiling to Satan. The door locked, and Bill thought WTF? 'She was innocent explained the man, my cock is still hungry!' 'Put your pants down and assume the position and spread your legs Bill!'

And so it came Bill Gates is eternally being f*cked since both the big shapedman and Bill weren't innocent. Also Eternal Blue is another word for Bill's poor a*ss, Eternally Blue from the big cock going in and out.     ~ Devil O Naugthy

0     → Joke