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Proposal

A blonde, brunette and a redhead all lived in the same apartment complex. One day they all were in an elevator together. They noticed a stain on the inside of the elevator. The brunette wrinkled her nose and said, that looks like a cum stain. The red head sniffed it and exclaimed, "It smells like a cum stain". The blonde bent over and licked it and said, "It's not from anybody in this building!"     ~ I hates Bill Gates

5     → Joke


A Televangelist a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said: "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."

"No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door, there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. The Rabbi replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that this is an unclean animal."

His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door, "What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"

Well, that leaves only the Televangelist to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Yep, you guessed it! Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

20     → Joke


Proposal

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES - $50.00."

A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?"

"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."

The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.

The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER - $50.00."

5     → Joke


Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

20     → Joke


Proposal

3 men die and go to heaven. St. Peter is standing at the gate and asks the first man how long were you married the man replied 40 years. St Peter asks how long were you faithful. The man replied 40 years. St. Peter replied you get the roles royce to drive around in heaven.

the second walks up. St. Peter asks him how long he was married and how long he was faithful. The man replied St. Peter I was Married 40 years but only faithful for 20. St. Peter replies you get this beetle to drive around in heaven in.

The third man walks up and St. Peter asks him the same question. The man replies I was married for 40 years but only faithful for 10years. St. Peter said you get the mopad to drive in heaven So the man with the mopad and the man with the beetle was driveing and saw the man with the roles royce off the side of the road crying they asked him what was wrong the man replied OH! LORD! I just saw my wife roll by on a skateboard.

6     → Joke


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