jokes4all.net

Sam jokes

70 jokes about sam



Search




A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said: "Let's talk, I am sure that flights are faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and asked the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger.

"How about nuclear power?" The girl asked.

"Ok," he said "That could be an interesting topic!"

The girl continues: "But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"The stranger thinks about it and says:"Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies:"Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

50     shit jokes


A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."

He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."

The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

47     burglar jokes


A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem ...

In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife.

At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?". The man answered, "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"

43     sex jokes


How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

42     sex jokes


A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".

The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."

43     wife jokes






Next page    Jokes