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Rule jokes

12 jokes about rules



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Proposal

Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"

Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."

Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"

Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

3     → Joke


Three young women in there thirties are on a road trip and are tearing down the freeway. unfortunatley, they lose control, the car flips over the guard rail on to the opposite lanes and gets smashed by an eighteen wheeler.

Up at the pearly gates, all three of them are greeted by St. Peter. He tells them. "All of you led very good lives down on earth, so all of you will be asmitted into paradise. The only rule: "DON'T STEP ON THE DUCKS."

Confused, they all ask "Um ... what?"

St. Peter says "If you step on one duck, it quacks. If a duck quacks, other ducks will start quacking, and ... well ... you'll see."

With that, the gates opened and the three waltzed inside. And, sure enough, All of heaven is covered with ducks. there is almost no room to walk with the millions of ducks.

A day of careful stepping later, the first woman steps on a duck. Seconds later, every single duck in heaven is quacking. It's so loud the women aren't suprised if earth could hear it. Hours later, when the quacking ceased, an angel appears with a very ugly man and chains him to the lady and tells her this is her eternal punishment for the duck-stepping.

Not wanting the same fate, the other two women become very cautious for the next week, but sure enough, the second lady steps on a duck.

She gets the same punishment as the first lady.

The third lady becomes so careful that, a year-and-a-half later, she is still duck-free. Then, an angel appears next to her with a very handsome man and chains him to her.

Thinking that this must be a reward for her good-doing she asks the man gleefully "What did I do to deserve this?"

And the man replies with a grimace, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

16     → Joke


What is the best way to get to Paradise?

Turn right and go straight.

11     → Joke


Tom addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but somehow, something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force. He dropped!

Tom and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay, quite unconscious, with the ball between his feet. "Good heavens" said Tom, "what shall I do?"

"Don't move him" said his playing partner, "if we leave him here he becomes an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball as it lies or drop it two club lengths away."

14     → Joke


Proposal

What's the first rule of scuba diving?

Don't fart in your wet suit.

4     → Joke


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