131 jokes about rounds
25 → Joke
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake. The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.
Snow White relents and says "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around." Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into the water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into the water before she can. The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED
Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?
That's easy ... 7 Up!
45 → Joke
had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge
getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing
all around on the river bank below.
He thought, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.
He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.
"Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."
"Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly ... "My asshole
itches, and I can't scratch
30 → Joke
, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO
. This new boss
is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money
do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing
, the CEO looks around the room and asks "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza
delivery guy from Domino's."
21 → Joke
Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart
. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop
writing a parking ticket
So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car
with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!
This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults
at him, the more tickets he wrote ...
But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ...
Jesus30 → Joke
came across an adulteress
crouching in a corner with a crowd around her preparing to stone her to death. Jesus stopped them and said, "Let he who is without sin
cast the first stone."
Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fired off a stone at the adulteress. At which point Jesus looked over and said, "Mother
! Sometimes you really tick me off!"