49 jokes about rinks
20 wife jokes
A man is sitting at the bar
in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey
. One of his friends
happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink
before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife
just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky
in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,
"Not anymore! ... He is!"
15 texan jokesProposal
walks into a pub
in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish
are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking
them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh ... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
Little Porny was bored, so she decided to go see what her mother was doing. As she walked into her mother's room, she heard her say: "Shit!" She asked her mother what that meant and her mother said: "Dear, it's just another word for make-up".6 Short jokesProposal
So she goes on her way past her brothers room, she hears him say: "Cunt and tits" Sshe goes in and asks: "What does that mean?" He says: "Ooh thats another word for coats and hats."
She goes down-stairs to the kitchen to get a drink and again hears her dad say: "Fuck!" She asks: "Daddy what does that means?" "Aah! my little one, thats another word for stuffing the turkey."
So she comfortably gets her drink and goes to watch a movie. Few minutes later, the door bell rings, she runs to get it opened and says: "Come in, can I take your cunts and tits? Mom is up-stairs putting shit on her face, daddy is down stairs fucking the turkey!"
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy drinks it down in one.6 Short jokes
"Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must happened".
"I came home early today," answered the guy, "went up to the bedroom, and there was my wife having sex with my best friend!"
The bartender pours the dude another triple shot. "This one's on the house". The guy gulps it down once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife?"
The guy answers: "Yea, I walked up to her, told her we're through, pack your bag's and get out, I told her!"
"What about your friend?" asks the bartender.
"I looked him straight in the eye and said: Bad Dog!"
18 dog jokesNext page Jokes
walks into this bar
, jumps up on the stool and says to the bartender
, "Hey barkeep, it's my birthday
today. How 'bout a free drink
The bartender turns, looks at the dog and nods his head, "Sure pal, toilet
's right down the hall."