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Proposal

So Dan and Mike are drinking beer in a bar.

"Hey Dan, did you know the universe is expanding and there's nothing we can do about it?"

"Of course there's something we can do about it, Mike."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Tell your mom to stop eating."

3     Short jokes


Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.

It was then observed that 100 % of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

14     beer jokes


How do women define a 50/50 relationship?

We cook. They eat.
We clean. They dirt.
We iron. They wrinkle.

14     woman jokes


A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can.

He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!".

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

13     beer jokes


A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm the Devil," she responded.

"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister."

20     devil jokes






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