A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert.27 Blonde Jokes
The brunette says, "I brought some water so we don't get dehydrated."
The redhead says, "I brought some suntan lotion so we don't get sunburned."
Then the blonde says I brought a car door." The other girls said, "Why did you bring that?" Then the blonde says, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.28 Priest Jokes
The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this.
The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and "I understand. How did you feel about that?" The new priest says those things.
The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit?!? What happened next?"
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.30 Sex Jokes
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time."
A lady was in the stirrups at her gynecologist's office having her annual checkup, when she heard the doctor talking to himself as he examined her: "My, what a big vagina! ... My, what a big vagina!"30 Vagina Jokes
The lady was, to put it mildly, a bit annoyed. Being the assertive type she spoke up immediately: "Doctor, I can't believe what I'm hearing! I think it's incredibly unprofessional of you to say something like that. To say such a thing once was bad enough, but twice is outrageous!"
"I'm very sorry," replied the doctor, "please forgive me. But just to set the record straight, I only said it ONCE Once once ..."
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.28 Doctor Jokes
So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."