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What burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?

Neither, they both burn shorter!

6     candle jokes


How do you shoot a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a red elephant?

You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a green elephant?

Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

Ever seen a yellow elephant?

3     elephant jokes


A Kentuckian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"

21     fireman jokes


Proposal

Q. What is red and bad for your teeth?

A. A brick     ~ D-TRAIN

1     Short jokes


A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report:

Most honorable sir,

You leave house.
I watch house.
He come to house. I watch.
He and she leave house. I follow.
He and she go in hotel. I climb tree.
I look in window.
He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip she. She strip he.
He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall off tree.
I not see.

No fee, Chen Lee.

79     sex jokes






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