Real - 93 jokes
34 sex jokes
Dianne goes to the doctor
, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you."
The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.
"Well, what is it?" he asks.
"It's a bit embarrassing," she replies. "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs."
The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, "Is your boyfriend
blushes and says, "Well, actually he is."
"That's the problem," the doctor says. "Tell him his earrings
aren't real gold."
12 professor jokes12 zero jokes
A very logical and somewhat cold calculating professor
of mathematics sent this fax to his wife
You must realize that now you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.
28 woman jokes
was paying for some items in a supermarket
- a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man
at the checkout said, "I bet you're single
, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly
," replied the man.
32 doctor jokesNext page Jokesreal sayings
One night a man
and a woman
are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors
. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.
So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex
for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon
, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist
aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."