50 jokes about rates
Do you know what the
death rate around here is?
One per
person.
28
death jokesThe
government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an
eagle to a
condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.
46
government jokesA
man and a
woman were waiting at the
hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some
blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate
sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."
44
sperm jokesA little
girl was talking to her
teacher about
whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that
Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to
heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to
hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"
43
whale jokes28
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