Why do black widow spiders kill
their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing
"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces
us to the terminal."
What do you tell a woman
with two black eyes
Nothing, you already told her twice!
A girl comes home and says to her boyfriend
: "I have just had a tattoo
of a sea shell on the inside of my leg at the top."
Her boyfriend gets his head between her legs and puts his ear to the tattoo and listens to the sea. "That's brilliant," he said "you can also smell the fish