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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

5    


Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.

63    

caveman,food

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:

"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

7    


What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice!

6    

woman,haircut

largemouth bass
A girl comes home and says to her boyfriend: "I have just had a tattoo of a sea shell on the inside of my leg at the top."

Her boyfriend gets his head between her legs and puts his ear to the tattoo and listens to the sea. "That's brilliant," he said "you can also smell the fish market!"

21    




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