A rabbit came into a shop and asked, "Got any carrots
?" The seller answered, "No!"
The next day the rabbit came again and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller replied "No!"
Next day the rabbit came and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller shouted, "No! And if you come again and ask for carrots, I'll take nails and hammer you on the wall by your ears!"
Early next morning the rabbit came back and asked, " Got any nails?" The seller answered, "No!" The rabbit asked, "Got any carrots?"
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?0
Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI
, and the CIA
are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear
. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
There once was a bear
and a rabbit and they hated each other. The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a magical talking tree
. The tree said: "I will grant you 3 wishes
a piece if you will stop fighting!"
So the bear went first. "I wish all the bears in the forest are females." And all the bears in the forest turned into females.
The rabbit said: "I wish I had a helmet." Rabbit gets the helmet and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: "I wish all the bears in the country are females." The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, "I wish I have a motorcycle." By this point the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he's ever seen. The rabbit could wish for money and have all the motorcycles in the world.
The bear says: "I wish all the bears in the world are female." The wish is granted.
When it's the rabbit's turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his motorcycle, and says: "I wish that bear is gay
One day two boys were walking through the woods
when they saw some rabbit shit
. One of the boys said: "What is that?"
pills," said the other boy "Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said: "These taste like shit."
"See," said the other boy, "you're already getting smarter."