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The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

23     Fbi Jokes


How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?

Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

7     Carrot Jokes


The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel.

"Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match."

The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.

"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "We'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres ... We can't lose!"
Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.

The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.

"Second?!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!"

"No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."

17     Pope Jokes


Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?"

Little Johnny: "Nine."

Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight."

Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!"

4     Little Johnny Jokes






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