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A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."

9     surgeon jokes


Proposal

A man was sitting in a room with a blonde itching to ask her something.

He asked her, "Can I ask you a question? Then you ask me one. If I get yours wrong I will give you £50, and if you get mine wrong you give me a fiver.

The blonde nods and replies, "Ok then."

So the man says, "What's the distance between the sun and the earth?"

The blonde hands him a fiver.

She then says, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs but comes down with 4?"

The man thinks for ages on this question and finally gives up and gives the blonde £50. He then asks her, "What's the answer then?"

The blonde hands him a fiver.

1     Short jokes


A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions.

"Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband sweetly.

Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby and tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he sighed, "Every time."

11     sex jokes






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