6 jokes about psychiatrists
14 → Joke
Psychiatrist: "What's your problem?"Patient
: "I think I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Ever since I was an egg
10 → Joke
of a problem child
was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son
. I suggest you take tranquilizers
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes", the boy's mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.
?" the mother replied.
17 → Joke
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "You gotta help me, I'm going crazy
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink
. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender
cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
16 → Joke
Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse
took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor
, you must help me", she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating
him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see", nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter".
"No!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"
0 → Joke
How many psychiatrists does it take to change
a light bulb?
One. But the light bulb has got to want to change.
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