I came out of a shop munching on a huge pork pie.11 Pork Jokes
A tramp was sitting on the pavement, he looked up at me and said: "I have not eaten for 3 days!"
I said: "I wish i had your willpower!"
What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?27 Hooker Jokes
They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
Jesus came across an adulteress crouching in a corner with a crowd around her preparing to stone her to death. Jesus stopped them and said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."27 Jesus JokesProposal
Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fired off a stone at the adulteress. At which point Jesus looked over and said, "Mother! Sometimes you really tick me off!"
A customer at a supermarket asked Ranjeet, the shelf packer if he could buy half a cucumber.6 Short jokes Jokes
Ranjeet, went to his boss and told him: "There is an idiot who wants 1/2 a cucumber".
Unfortunately the customer had followed him and was standing right behind him. When Ranjeet realised this, he quickly added "Oh and this gentleman wants the other 1/2".
Later the boss said he was very impressed by his fast thinking and asked him where he came from.
"I come from Chatsworth" Ranjeet replied and quickly added "Nothing much comes from there except musicians and prostitutes."
To which the boss said: "Oh really? My wife comes from Chatsworth".
The quick response from Ranjeet was: "Is that so? What instrument does she play?"