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President jokes

27 jokes about presidents



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The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

18     → Joke


Proposal

One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea.

"Driver? Can I drive for a while?"

"Sure," says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope?

So the Pope takes the wheel and starts driving like a maniac all around Washington - dodging in and out of traffic, going eighty, cutting people off. Soon, a cop pulls him over. But when the Pope rolls down the window, the cop stops dead in his tracks, and goes back to the car.

"We got somebody really important here," he says to his partner.

"Who is it? Is it a senator?"

"No. More important."

"The president?"

"No. More important."

"An ambassador? Who?"

"I don't know. But the Pope is his driver."

5     → Joke


Proposal

George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him.

He turned to Moses and said: "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"

Moses replied: "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"

6     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: "Who succeeded the first President of the USA?"

Pupil: "The second one!"

2     → Joke


Proposal

Yo momma's so fat, her butt cheeks have their own president!     ~ anonymous

1     → Joke


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