24 jokes about presidents
At Heathrow Airport in
England. A 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President
Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white
horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well.
This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity.
Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.
Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation.
She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control."
George W., ever the Texas intellectual and gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses."
10
→ JokeThere's a big conference of
beer producers. At the end of the day, the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.
The president of '
Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur
Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a
Coke!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."
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→ Joke4
→ JokeProposalThey said that when a black man becomes president, pigs will fly.
Exactly 100 days after Barack Obama became president swine flu.
5
→ JokeThe Los Angeles Police Department (
LAPD), The
FBI, and the
CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a
rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten
bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
21
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