The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.23 Fbi Jokes
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
A couple go on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.18 Fishing Jokes
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and takes a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.
Along comes a forest policeman in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the policeman.
"That's true," replied the woman, "But you have all the equipment."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work for a construction crew. One day, they were on their lunch break, sitting on a beam thirty stories high. They all note that they've had the same lunch for as long as they were on the job. They agreed if they opened their lunchboxes and found the same lunch, they would all hurl themselves off the beam.19 Blonde Jokes
The next day, the police are investigating the scene where the three women fell. When the police asked the husbands of the women, the brunette and the redhead's husbands both said, "If I had known, I would have given her something different." However, the blonde's husband said, "Don't look at me, she packs her own lunch."
A soldier ran up to a Nun. Out of breath he asked: "Please, may I hide under your skirt I'll explain later."44 Soldier JokesProposal
The nun accepted his request.
A moment later, two Military Police ran up and asked: "Sister have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied: "He went that way."
After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. I hope you will understand, "I don't want to go to Iraq."
The nun said: "I understand completely".
The soldier added: "I hope I am not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied: "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of ballsI don't want to go to Iraq either."
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.25 Short jokesNext page Jokes
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the lot for me.
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES!
At 4 the next morning, F. B. I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.