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Police jokes

47 jokes about police



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What not to say to the nice policeman:

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

25     → Joke


A hydrogen atom lost its electron and went to the police station to file a missing electron report. He was questioned by the police: "Haven't you just misplaced it somewhere? Are you sure that your electron is really lost?"

"I'm positive." replied the atom.

8     → Joke


A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

13     → Joke


What not to say to the nice policeman:

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14     → Joke


What not to say to the nice policeman:

Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

23     → Joke



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