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Police Jokes
Top 20 Jokes about Police



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What not to say to the nice policeman:

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

23     Policeman Jokes


Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...

So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"

He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!

This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ...
But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ...

30     Car Jokes


A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

20     Blonde Jokes


What not to say to the nice policeman:

Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

18     Gun Jokes


What not to say to the nice policeman:

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

9     Policeman Jokes






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