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A Saudi was being interviewed at the US Embassy to obtain visa.

Consul: "Your name please?"

Saudi: "Abdul-Aziz."

Consul: "Sex?"

Saudi: "Six time a week."

Consul: "I mean, male or female?"

Saudi: "Both male and female sometime even camels."

Consul: "Holy cow!"

Saudi: "Yes, cows & dogs too."

Consul: "Man, isn't that hostile?"

Saudi: "Horse style, dog style, any style!"

Consul: "Oh dear!"

Saudi: "Deer? No deer, they run too fast ...!"

12     saudis jokes


In church, a pastor was leading the house in prayer. He said, "God, please protect your believers, and deliver us from sin."

Chuck Norris stood up and said, "What have you done for me lately?"

27     God jokes


A blonde walks into a shop and gets one of the staff to help her find a TV. She finds one and says: "Can I buy that TV please?"

Staff guy: "No I don't serve blondes!"

Blonde: "Wait here!" She runs of, dyes her hair black and comes back in and says: "Can I buy that TV please?"

Staff guy: "No I don't serve blondes!"

Now the blonde is getting confused so she goes and dyes her hair red and comes back in and says: "Can I buy that TV please?"

Staff guy: "No I don't serve blondes!"

Blonde: "Why do you keep on calling me a blonde?"

Staff guy: "Because that's not a TV that's a microwave!"

13     blonde jokes


A cowboy was riding accross the plain when he heard shouting from a nearby house. So he went over to investigate and after searching the house, found a young maiden lying naked in bed, with her four limbs tied to the bed corners.

"Oh thank god" she cried: "you have got to help me, two men came by and killed my husband then took it in turn to ravish me before stealing all our money, help me please!"

The cowboy thought for a second, then as he unzipped his fly and took down his trousers he said: "Maam, this just aint your lucky day!"

25     cowboy jokes


It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot. The air was thick and humid, and the jury was having a hard time staying focused. One of the jurors succumbed to the heat, falling asleep just as the victim was being questioned by the prosecutor.

"The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to your home. Would you please tell the jury precisely what the defendant said when he called you," asked the prosecutor.

"I can't do that," the victim replied. "It was so crude and disgusting. I can't use language like that."

"Would it help to just write it down?"

The victim wrote out every detail of what the obscene caller had said, and passed the note to the judge. The judge read the note. It was then passed to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and finally to the jury.

The sleeping juror was seated at the back corner of the jury box, and was the last to receive the note. He was awoken with a nudge from an attractive young juror, seated next to him, and she passed him the note. He read it, gazed in awe at the woman, and read it again. He turned to her, smiling broadly, and winked. He then put the note into his pocket.

The judge demanded, "Please pass that note to the bailiff."

"But your honor," the juror protested, "It's a private matter."

25     court jokes






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