A soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photos of women that he could find.
He bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying: "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which is yours, please keep your photo and return the others."
, really needing to go to the bathroom
, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and dancing, but every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender
, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should ..."
"Why not?" the nun asked.
"Well, there is a statue of a naked man
in there, and his most private parts are covered only by a fig leaf."
"Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other way."
So, the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs, and she preceded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?"
comes into a hardware
"May I help you ma'am?"
"Yes, please, I need a three inch door
"Do you wanna screw for it?"
"No thanks," she responds, "but I'll blow you for that clock radio over there."
who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be selfsufficient gets word that he is to return home.
He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree
and says to the chief: "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts: "Tree."
The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says: "This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts: "Rock."
The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds: "Riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them!
The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other! How could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied: "My bike."