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A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and dancing, but every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should ..."

"Why not?" the nun asked.

"Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and his most private parts are covered only by a fig leaf."

"Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other way."

So, the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs, and she preceded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?"

33     → Joke


A woman comes into a hardware store.

"May I help you ma'am?"

"Yes, please, I need a three inch door hinge."

"Do you wanna screw for it?"

"No thanks," she responds, "but I'll blow you for that clock radio over there."

29     → Joke


Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!"

Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ..."

7     → Joke


Proposal

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says: "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".

He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then" he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

4     → Joke


Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please?"

Fred: "There it is!"

Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America?"

Little Johnny: "Fred did!"

5     → Joke




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