94 jokes about pins
22 → Joke
was called on the carpet by his supervisor
for talking back to his foreman
. "Is it true that you called him a liar
"Yes, I did."
"Did you call him stupid?"
"And did you call him an opinionated, egomaniac asshole
"No, but would you write that down so I can remember it?"
37 → Joke
and a baby
come into the doctor
's office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast
fed or on the bottle?"
"Oh ... he is breast fed!", replied the woman.
"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.
She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table. The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.
The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says: "No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk
The woman with a wry grin on her face responds: "Well of course I don't." "I'm his aunt - but I'm sure glad I brought him in!"
28 → Joke
A battle weary American soldier
boarded a crowded train
in London during the early days of post-WWII, only to discover he was unable to find a place to sit. As he walked the length of the train, he noticed a small white dog
curled up on one of the seats. A large, well dressed woman sat in the seat next to the dog. The man hovered near the seat, hoping the woman would take the hint, but she pointedly ignored him.
"Excuse me, Ma'am," the soldier finally spoke, "Is this your dog? Would you mind holding it on your lap so that I may sit down?"
The woman raised her icy gaze to the young man and said in a haughty British accent, "oh! You Americans. You are so rude.
Fluffy is in that seat, and i see no reason why she should give up her comfort for you."
The exhausted soldier nodded, picked up the small dog ... leaned over ... opened the window of the moving train and tossed the dog out. The woman gaped and spluttered in horrified indignation, and the man sitting across from her lowered his newspaper.
"You Americans", he said, "You drive on the wrong side of the road ... you eat with the wrong fork ... and you just threw the wrong bitch
out the window."
13 → JokeProposal
Why did the blonde
tip-toe past the medicine
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde step on a magical rug that causes anyone who lies while stepping on it to vanish into this air.2 → Joke
The brunette thought for a moment, stepped on the rug, and said, "I think I am the sexiest thing that ever lived."
She vanished with a pop.
The redhead realized she could never be so vain. So she stepped on the rug and simply said, "I think am smart."
She vanished with another loud pop.
Finally, the blonde stepped onto the rug. Confidently, she said "I think-"