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One day I got hired to be a Walmart greeter. I was doing a fine job untill a women with her two kids came in.

This women was very ugly, fat, and disgusting. She kept yelling at her two kids, cussing all over the place.

I walked up to her and said, "excuse me mam, what lovely kids you have, are they twins?"

She cussed at me and said, "what are you fucking retarded, anyone with eyes can tell that they aren't twins, one's 7 and the other is 9!"

I though about this for some seconds and responded, "I didn't think they looked like twins but I just couldn't believe someone would want to sleep with you twice."

That was my first and last day being a Walmart greeter.

20     Walmart Jokes


A worker was called on the carpet by his supervisor for talking back to his foreman. "Is it true that you called him a liar?

"Yes, I did."

"Did you call him stupid?"

"Yes."

"And did you call him an opinionated, egomaniac asshole?"

"No, but would you write that down so I can remember it?"

25     Supervisor Jokes


Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time!

24     Sex Jokes


Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a bishop. When he walks into a room people call him Your Grace."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says Your Eminence."

The fourth Catholic man chirps, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him Your Holiness."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well ...?"

She replies, "I have a gorgeous daughter. When she walks into a room, people say, ... Oh God!"

21     Catholic Jokes


A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.

"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids ..."

24     Asshole Jokes




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