A ventriloquist comes onto the stage with his dummy and starts his act. One bit requires his dummy to tell Dumb-Blonde Jokes. After a few jokes, an angry blonde woman finally stands up and starts speaking her mind.13 Blonde Jokes
"I have had it with the stereotyping of all blondes being stupid!" the woman yells, and she continues ranting on about this.
Finally, the ventriloquist says, "Sorry ma'am ..."
The woman cuts him off by saying, "You stay out of this. I'm talkin' to the dummy."
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.28 President Jokes
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his penis. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a saucer of cold milk. Later, his blonde wife comes home and finds him with his dick in a saucer of cold milk.15 Penis Jokes
"Good heavens!" she remarks "I always wondered how you reloaded those things!"
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."27 Marriage Jokes
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"28 Woman Jokes
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.