What do Lady Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?33 Princess Diana Jokes
Their last greatest hit was 'The Wall'.
A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?"30 Sex JokesProposal
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
Q. What is green and goes camping?2 Short jokes
A. A brussel scout ~ D-TRAIN
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"31 Coma Jokes
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.31 Marriage JokesNext page Jokes
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"
After a moment of silence, he farted.