34 jokes about pies
12 → Joke
Whats the difference between a dead baby
and apple pie?
doesn't eat the apple pie after he has sex
9 → Joke
I came out of a shop munching on a huge pork
was sitting on the pavement, he looked up at me and said: "I have not eaten for 3 days!"
I said: "I wish i had your willpower
60 → Joke
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar
talking about their lives.
The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE
. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE
. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck
61 → Joke
The kindergarten class had a homework
assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids
to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon Little Johnny
, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period
" reported Johnny.
"Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period."
"Damned if I know" said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."
40 → Joke
A female reporter
was conducting an interview with a farmer
about Mad Cow
Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?"
"Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?"
"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?"
"And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?"
"Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?"
"Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits
twice a day, but only screwing
you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"