4 jokes about physicists
16 mathematician jokes
and a physicist were asked the following question: Suppose you walked by a burning house and saw a hydrant
and a hose
not connected to the hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water
, and put out the fire
M: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.
Then they were asked this question: Suppose you walked by a house and saw a hose connected to a hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would keep walking, as there is no problem to solve.
M: I would disconnect the hose from the hydrant and set the house on fire, reducing the problem to a previously solved form.
8 sticker jokes
How do you know that the driver driving
toward you is a physicist?
He has a red sticker
on his bumper
, saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."
14 chemist jokes
A physicist, biologist
and a chemist
were going to the ocean
for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water
5 philosophy jokes Jokes
Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab.
and, most importantly:
Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy