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An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.

She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!"

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked. "Why not?"

She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

10     blonde jokes


Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?

He was too busy playing the harmonica.

6     Bill Clinton jokes


A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.

Agent: "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first."

Passenger: "Do you have any idea who I am?"

The gate agent grabs her public address microphone, "May I have your attention, please? We have a passenger here who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17."

The man grits his teeth, "Screw you."

She replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."

3     agent jokes


A lady goes into a grocery store to buy some tampon. As fate would have it she picked up a box without a price on it. When the cashier went to ring it up he noticed there was not a price.

As grocery cashiers are so inclined to do, he grabbed the P. A. microphone and said, "Need a price on TAMPAX!"

A stock boy who heard the garbled message thought the cashier said, "Some tacks" and promptly yelled back, "The kind you pound in with a hammer or the kind you push in with your finger?"

2     tampon jokes


Pupil (on phone): "My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today."

School Secretary: "Who is this?"

Pupil: "This is my father speaking!"

0     pupil jokes






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