Perfect - 18 jokes
24 microsoft jokes
is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane
with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle
airport. There is fog
so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane
.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft
's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees."
17 rug jokes
A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs
. Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts
Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her 'little accident' and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am, how may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks: "How much does this rug cost?"
He answers: "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit your pants when you hear what the price is."
7 compliment jokesProposal
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old
. I really need you to pay me a compliment ..."
The husband replies: "Your eyesight
's damn perfect."
A young man comes home and says: "Dad, just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car."5 Short jokes
Father replies: "OK son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?"
Father replies: "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair."
Son says: "But, dad, Jesus had long hair."
Father replies: "Yes, son, you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went!"
2 school food jokesNext page Jokesperfect sayings
The food in our school
canteen is perfect.
If you are a bug