What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?27 Blonde Jokes
You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."24 Dog Jokes
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure ... go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Man: "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.10 Restaurant Jokes
"The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says.
The waiter nods: "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, HE'll have the fish." Hillary replies.
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.11 Lawyer Jokes
Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around.24 Dog JokesNext page JokesPeople Sayings
Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing.
The blind man calmly replied, "I'm just lookin' around."