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Penis jokes

106 jokes about penises



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Why does a man have a hole in the end of his penis?

To get oxygen to his brain!

48     → Joke


A man says to his wife: "Tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

His wife replies: "You have a bigger willy than your brother!"

75     → Joke


What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that thing?

40     → Joke


A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

Again, there's a bright flash ... and then his legs fall off!

44     → Joke


The 5 worst things about being a penis is ...

1. You have a hole in your head.
2. Your best friend is a cunt.
3. Your next door neighbors are 2 nuts and an asshole.
4. Every time you get excited you throw up.
5. You always are wearing a collar.

62     → Joke



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