A guy walks into a store to buy a new computer. So he takes the computer home and sets it up on his desk.17 Computer Jokes
Creating a master account the computer asks him for his password. He enters the word penis.
The computer responds: "Your password is not long enough!"
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."35 Pirate Jokes
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
"Well, ok, but what about that hook? "What happened to your hand?"
"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird shit."
"It was my first day with the hook."
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said: "Let's talk, I am sure that flights are faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."35 Shit Jokes
The little girl who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and asked the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger.
"How about nuclear power?" The girl asked.
"Ok," he said "That could be an interesting topic!"
The girl continues: "But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"The stranger thinks about it and says:"Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies:"Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
Why does a man have a hole in the end of his penis?35 Penis Jokes
To get oxygen to his brain!
Why is a man like a snowstorm?35 Man Jokes
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.