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Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

22     weapon jokes


A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.

He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?

In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims: "Damn, some asshole has my pen!"

38     doctor jokes


When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

26     NASA jokes


Proposal

After a whirlwind sex tour of Chinese brothels, a man comes back from his vacation, exhausted but happy. A few weeks later he notices purple and green rings on his penis. Terrified that he caught some disease he goes to his doctor. He runs some tests and tells him that he has Chinese VD and his penis must be amputated. The man is horrified and gets a second opinion. The other doctor says the same thing- the dick has to come off. Finally, the guy reasons to himself, "Since I got this from some Chinese tart, I'll go to a Chinese doctor and see what they say. So, he goes to see Dr. Hu G Wang. The man shows him his penis and says that all the other doctors said he needs to have his dick cut off. Dr. Wang shakes his head and laughs. "American doctors- always want to operate. No worry! You have Chinese VD. It OK!" The guy heaves a huge sigh of relief! "No, no cut dickie off, after week dickie turn black and fall off.

1     Short jokes


What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?

The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

91     penis jokes






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