Funny · Short · New · Top Proposal
The pre-school teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"2 Proposal
Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"
The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence?"
Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue."
"That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."
Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."
The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"
Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely shit my pants."
A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.0 Proposal
Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47."
Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."
A high-school sports fan takes his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They have a great time, and their team wins. After the game, he askes his girlfriend how she enjoyed the experience. She says, "I loved it. The hot guys, the tight pants, but it made no sense to me." Confused, her boyfriend askes, "What confused you? It's pretty simple." She replies, "At the beginning of the game, they flip a quarter to see who gets the ball first. Then, the whole game they're shouting 'Get the quarterback, get the quarterback!' I mean, hellllooooo, it's just 25 cents!"0 Proposal
Chuck Norris and Superman had a contest once to see who was the most powerful of them.0 Proposal
The loser had to wear his slip over his pants ...
Joe had trouble with getting a girl friend so he asks his frined Greg if he can help.0
"Well, i planned we go to the beach tomarrow and i'll help you then."
Next day when they got on the beach on confortable and Greg says
"here, stick this rock in your pants and see if u can get a girl."
A minute later girls are running and screaming and then Greg says
"No! Your supposed to put the rock in front! Not in back!"