68 jokes about pans
A general store
owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts
and thong panties. One day a young man
enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread
behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt [or general lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
"Id like some raisin bread please", the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he's having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices whats going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon each male patron is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips shes tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try this bread for herself!
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin too?"
"No," croaks the old man "... But its startin to twitch."
was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.
"Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man
standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her.
"Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor.
"I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
!" he said, and dropped her.
A passenger plane was flying over a desert when one engine broke down and the plane crashed.3 Proposal
One man survived and decided that not knowing when help would arrive, he needed to prepare himself for surviving.
After three months the man had settled in quite nicely, built him a shelter, had a steady food supply and found a water hole.
Also at this water hole he came across a lone camel staying by the water hole, and accepted this camel as his 'company'.
For another three months this went on until the man was starting to get bored with the life he had made for himself in the desert, and as with any man, the man had been raunchy for quite a while now, until one day, whilst looking at the camel, considered it ... and had a go but failed in his attempt.
This was the case every day for the following three months, with the man getting to an uncontrollable state of raunchiness, when another plane crashed near where the man was staying, he rushed to the scene to find a sole survivor, a beautiful young French female model.
The man helped the lady to his home where he fed her, gave her water and started telling his whole story about living in the desert.
As night fell and the man went on telling his story, the model got more and more amazed at this man's story, and by the time the man was had finished, the woman had even fallen in love, and with their romantic atmosphere asked him that for all of his troubles and kindness, there surely was something she could do for him??
... After thinking for a while the man agreed and pointed at the camel saying "I've been trying for three months now, I would really appreciate it if you could please hold the camel still!"
Q: How did Bill Gates come up with the name for his company, "Microsoft"? 1
A: He pulled down his underwear and looked in the mirror. ~ I Hates Bill Gates