28 jokes about orders
5 mormons jokesProposal
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman
on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink
orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores
than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me,
too, I didn't know we had a choice
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy drinks it down in one.5 Short jokes
"Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must happened".
"I came home early today," answered the guy, "went up to the bedroom, and there was my wife having sex with my best friend!"
The bartender pours the dude another triple shot. "This one's on the house". The guy gulps it down once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife?"
The guy answers: "Yea, I walked up to her, told her we're through, pack your bag's and get out, I told her!"
"What about your friend?" asks the bartender.
"I looked him straight in the eye and said: Bad Dog!"
9 man jokes
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men
. Concerned about this, a local woman
called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees
to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous ... or what?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."
2 drunk jokes
One night, a drunk
comes stumbling into a bar
and says to the bartender
: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent
when you drink."
14 fishing jokesNext page Jokes
Jim had an awful day fishing
on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman
, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife
that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout."
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper