30 jokes about orders
10 → Joke
How many managers
does it take to change
a light bulb
1) "I want a detailed memo about this issue till tomorrow's morning."
2) "You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!"
3) "We haven't got a policy on that".
4) "I am on my way to a very important meeting, so we'll discuss it some other time."
5) Three. Two to find out if it needs changing, and one to tell an employee to change it.
63 → Joke
A bloke walks into a bar
and orders 10 double whiskys and downs them in one.
Barman: "What's up?"
Bloke: "My youngest son just told me he's gay
Next day he goes in and orders 15 double whiskys.
Barman: "What's up now?"
Bloke: "Just found out my oldest son is gay!"
Next day he goes in and orders 20 double whiskys.
Barman: "Fuck me! Does no one in your family like pussies?"
Bloke: "Yes - my wife!"
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since he bought it when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.41 → Joke
So, he inserted his manhood into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
There after he quickly realized that he couldn't seperate himself from the instrument. He read the manual but didn't find a way out. He tried every button on the instrument, but still nothing seem to work
Finally, the farmer decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line.
"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry", replied the customer service "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons!"
17 → Joke
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can't believe what he just saw. He's more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, "How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we're hundreds of feet above the ground!"
The jumper responds by slurring, "Well, I don't get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch." He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn't slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. "You're really an asshole when you're drunk, Superman
44 → Joke
This Scottish farmer
walks into the neighborhood pub
, and orders a whiskey
"Ye see that fence over there?" he says to the bartender. "Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts by me ownself, laid every last rail! But do they call me 'McGregor the Fence-Builder?' No..."
He gulps down the whiskey and orders another. "Ye see that pier on the loch?" He continues, "Ah built it me ownself, too. Swam oot into the loch to lay the foondations, laid doon every single board! But do they call me 'McGregor the Pier-Builder?' No."
"But ye fuck