Oral - 12 jokes
31 God jokes
A man got 2 wishes
. He asked for the best wine
and best woman
Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.
Moral: Be Specific.
41 horse jokes
and a chicken
are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm
but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche
back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks
27 sex jokesProposal
10% of the women
within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men
had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favour nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office
Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.
Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!
A man was brought before the judge and charged with Necrophilia.3 Short jokes
The judge told him: "In 20 years on the bench, I have never heard such a disgusting and immoral thing. Give me a good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the key."
The man replied: "I will give you 3 good reasons:
(1) It's none of your damn business.
(2) She was my wife.
(3) I didn't know she was dead because she always acted that way!"
13 teacher jokesNext page Jokes
The psychology teacher
had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the students
. Speaking specifically about manic depression
, the teacher asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach