59 jokes about old women
56 → Joke
was cleaning her husbands
dresser drawers when she found 3 golf
balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.
The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.
was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.
The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.
13 → JokeProposal
I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary
She said: "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her: "How about the kitchen?"
Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.2 → Joke
His wife was really angry and told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 10 seconds, and it better be there!"
The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back into the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Rick has been missing since Friday.
15 → Joke
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV
remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband
refused to come shopping
with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
8 → Joke
The husband returns home from the office. He kisses his wife, then spots the cat
. Horrified he asks what happened to the cats fur?
His wife replied: "You told me to shave the pussy and there it is."