Old - 227 jokes
48 Jesus jokes
A Sunday School teacher
of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus
by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
Susie said, "He was born in a manger."
Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."
said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."
Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"
"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving
down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
48 teacher jokes
The pretty teacher
was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny
, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love
." the boy
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom
44 cheating jokes
was cleaning her husbands
dresser drawers when she found 3 golf
balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.
The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.
was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.
The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.
48 wife jokes
An old man was wondering if his wife
had a hearing
problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair.
softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no response.
He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response.
Finally he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"
45 sex jokesNext page Jokesold sayings
went to a gas station that was holding a contest
: a chance to win free sex
when you filled your tank. They pumped their gas and went to pay the male attendant.
"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," he said. "If you guess right, you win free sex."
"Okay," agreed one of the guys, "I guess seven."
"Sorry, I was thinking of eight," replied the attendant.
The next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a number.
"Two!" said the second guy.
"Sorry, it's three, said the attendant. "Come back and try again."
As they walked out to their car, one guy said to the other, "I think this contest is rigged."
"No way," said his buddy. "My wife
won twice last week."