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Oil jokes

25 jokes about oil



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Yo momma is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

17     fat jokes


Yo momma is so greasy, Texaco buys Oil from her!

8     yo momma jokes


Some Somalians open fire on an oil tanker, take hostage the 25 crew and hijack the vessel carrying $100million of oil ...

I 'borrow' some music, TV and films from the internet and they want to sue me for piracy?

This world is messed up.

9     money jokes


It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

70     Little Johnny jokes


How do you get Holy Water?

You boil the hell out of it.

54     hell jokes






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