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Ocean jokes

9 jokes about oceans



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Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives.

The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish the ocean was a sea of beer." And it happened.

A litle while later the other one shouted,"Great, now we have to pee in the boat!"

35     → Joke


A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

18     → Joke


Proposal

Yo Momma's so fat she cannonballed in the ocean and caused the 2004 tsunami.     ~ anonymous

2     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher had an idea. She would ask the class a question on friday afternoon and whoever could answer it did not have to come back to school till tuesday. The first friday came and she asked,"how many grains of sand are in the sahara desert?" None of the kids knew that and she didn't either. The next friday came and she asked,"how many gallons of water are in the atlantic ocean?"Same results, the kids didn't know the answer and she didn't either. Little Johnny had a bright idea, thursday night he got two golf balls and painted them black. Friday when teacher was just going to ask the question, he threw the golf balls on the floor. Teacher asked, "OK, WHOSE THE COMEDIAN WITH THE BLACK BALLS?" Little Johnny said, "EDDIE MURPHY, SEE YOU TUESDAY TEACHER!!

4     → Joke


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