10 jokes about nurses
A
woman enrolled in nursing
school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her
asshole does when she has an
orgasm.
"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the
kids ..."
33
asshole jokesWhat is the
difference between
friends and best friends?
When you are in
hospital, friends ask: "How are you?"
Best friends ask: "Hey brother, how is the nurse?"
0
friend jokesHospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
35
hospital jokesA
woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"115" she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her
weight is 140.
The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".
She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and
fat!"
16
woman jokesA
woman, calling Mount Sinai
Hospital, said, "Hello, I want to know if a
patient is getting better."
The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"
She said, "Yes, darling! She's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."
He said, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! That's fantastic! That's wonderful news!"
The man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend!"
She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Cohen, my
doctor, doesn't tell me a word!"
27
hospital jokes
Jokes