10 jokes about nuns
15 God jokes
A guy and a nun go golfing
. The guy hits his ball into the water. He says "Damn! I missed!" The nun replies "Don't swear. God
can hear you." So the guy is like "Whatever".
He hits the ball again. It goes into the trees. "Damn! I missed!" "Don't swear, God can hear you!" "Whatever"
So, he hits his ball once again, but it only goes about 4 yards. "AARRRGH!!!! SHIT!!!!"
Ok, so about now, God gets mad. He throws down a thunderbolt. It hits the nun.
"Damn! I missed!"
8 batman jokes
One night, after a long evening of drinking
, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home he spotted a nun walking down the road.
After looking at her twice he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.
Some people passing by spotted this and called the police
As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, "I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman
29 God jokes
were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples
. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies
. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
17 prostitute jokes
Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic
school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"
"A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed.
Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Whew! Thank God! I thought you said 'A Protestant
9 dwarves jokes Jokes
went to meet the pope. "Go on Dopey, ask" chanted the other 6. "Ok" said Dopey, "Sir, are there nuns in Alaska?"
"Yes" said the pope.
"Go on Dopey, ask him" urged the other 6 dwarves. "Ok" said Dopey, "Sir, are there black nuns in Alaska?".
"Yes there are" said the pope.
"Go on Dopey, ask him" said the others. Dopey blushed and asked "Sir, are there midget nuns in Alaska?"
"No, i don't think so" said the pope.
All 6 of the other dwarves leapt up shouting "Dopey shagged a penguin
! Dopey shagged a penguin!"