102 jokes about nights
15 professor jokes
A very logical and somewhat cold calculating professor
of mathematics sent this fax to his wife
You must realize that now you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.
26 parrot jokes24 lawyer jokes
A young man
with a wild and multi-coloured hairstyle sits next to an old man on a park bench. The old man stares at the young man.
"What's the matter, old man?" says the young man. "Never done anything crazy
in your life?"
The old man replies: "Yeah. When I was in the Navy
, I got really drunk one night and had sex
with a parrot
. I thought you might be my son."
24 wife jokes
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini
on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another double martini.
After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders another one.
The bartender says: "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martini's all night long - but you got to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies: "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife
. When she starts to look good, I will know it's time to go home!"
24 wife jokesNext page Jokesnight sayings
left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday
, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting
with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife
and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye