Waiter: How did you find the meat, Sir? Patron: I just lifted up a potato chip and there it was.
Why did princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt
What was the last thing that went through her mind?
~ Princess diana
Managers are like squirrels.
They are rats with good PR and if you have more than one or two they become a nuisance.
Teacher: give me a sentence with the word fascinate in it
Student: I have a jacket with 10 buttons on it but I only fasten eight
~ Schiddly bop
Why are Catholic priests and acne different?
Acne doesn't cum on your face until your 14.
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